In Response to Comment Under "Interesting CNN Article"

Hi Luigi,

I don't expect you to understand. And YES. it is quite reprehensible what the pain of this affair has driven me to. I am not proud of this blog at all. It is sick and disgusting and twisted, and pathetic that I felt the need to do this.

After three years of trying every viable means necessary to get my feelings across, this is what it came down to because of her arrival to taiwan during my stay here. I would be much less hostile if my dad took his affair away, and out of my face in Hong Kong, where she lives.

As far as reprehensible goes...I find her actions and the hurt she has caused me and my family utterly reprehensible as well.

And in that light, I suppose we are even. And by even, I don't mean equality in degree of pain. Rather, we have both done reprehensible things. I wrote her that email 3 years ago and I never got a response. So obviously, I don't know if she finds her own actions to be reprehensible, but is nevertheless still unable to stop engaging in the affair...if this is the case, then I suppose my blog posting mirrors that sentiment. And then appropriately so, she of all ppl would understand why it is here.

I am powerless and weak. I do concede to that as well. I am powerless to the actions she chooses to engage in. I am powerless to the actions my father chooses to engage in.

Please do some research on libel, defamation and slander. There are many defenses for defamation, including, but not limited to: "The most important defense to an action for defamation is "truth", which is an absolute defense to an action for defamation...A defense recognized in most jurisdictions is "opinion". If the person makes a statement of opinion as opposed to fact, the statement may not support a cause of action for defamation. " Everything I've posted here are my OPINIONS OF SOMEONE. And the fact that what i am speaking of is an affair, well..that is FACT. In order to meet the definition of libel, what is being spoken of has to be untrue. It is not untrue that she is engaging in an extramarital affair. And has done so knowing the pain it caused/is causing for three years now, since I sent her that email.

I am not cyber stalking. In fact, I would say I've shown QUITE RESTRAINT in sending her emails. I've sent her 2 emails in the 4 years that I've lived this hell (3 years since my mom's found out). The first one is posted on this blog.

Passive Aggression is the path I take because I cannot be directly aggressive. I would endanger her physical well being and my own if it resorted to that. So I wouldn't say direct aggression is the better option as opposed to passive aggression. Though, I know you mean the alternative as taking the high road of no aggression as all. Tell you what, I will take the high road when she chooses to do the same. I must say, the anger and vengefulness in me has lessened so since my posting of this blog. But comments like this bring back the anger and pain in me.

Luigi, I don't expect you to understand what I'm going through, or why I do the things I do. If I were you, an outsider looking in, I would be equally disgusted. But the difference is, you are not me. And you haven't lived my life, and Ming has obviously not done anything harmful to you. After all, in your own words, "Ming is a wonderful generous, gracious and deeply ethical friend to me." The key word to take note is highlighted in bold. You have your opinion, and I have mine. You find her to be "deeply ethical" and the only difference with me is, I find her to be "deeply unethical." My reasons stem from what she's done to me, and yours stem from your own experiences with her.

Maybe one day I will be able to forgive everyone in this matter. My dad for being weak of heart and a coward for letting my mom grow old, into her 50s before admitting he was having an affair (including his self admitted past dalliances/affairs spanning over a decade). My mother for making me hate my dad at times and living a Mrs. Havisham type existence for 3 years. Both my parents for their awful way of handling this situation. My mother's psychosis and tantrums (much like my own) and my father's numbness towards us. Maybe one day I can forgive the way each of them have involved their children in this mess from the get-go, putting us in the awful position of having to choose sides: Feeling guilty for hurting our mother if we defend our father; feeling guilty for causing our father pain when all he wants is "true" love.

And lastly, maybe one day I will be able to forgive Ming, and I won't need this blog anymore. I won't need to vent or lash out here.

I've never gotten any kind of signal from her. As far as contrition or apology or any reaction at all. In fact, this is the first time I've heard of her being upset when her precious reputation was momentarily at stake . (since my initial intent of stating the truth and my opinions of her in this blog have changed, the posts have been un meta tagged if you had been paying close attention)

In the end, I hope the day will come where I can forgive and let go.
Today is not that day (as I'm replying to your comment here), but I hope with time, it will come in the future.

In parting, I welcome your comments and thoughts. Feel free to post them here, or email me directly if you'd like. However, I will delete duplicate comment posts.

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