This Island...

Isn't big enough for the Three of Us.

So, I will be leaving soon! I was going to stay here a year to get my taiwanese citizenship, but things didn't work out. I am again, packing my bags (all 4 of them!) and moving back to the States! I just can't face or be faced with any of this anymore. Such blatant, immoral actions in my face night after night. I should take a page from my grandmother and feign ignorance.

I'm going crazy, I'm making my dad go crazy. After two days of truly, EXPLOSIVE arguments, I think it's best we parted ways.

He said I was welcome back to Taiwan any time.

I told him the next time I came back to Taiwan, it would be for a funeral.

I predict after this trip, I probably won't see my dad again for a long, long, long time. This saddens me. And it should sadden him too. But of course, I will have no way of knowing that.

It saddens me that we had to part under such horrible circumstances.

It saddens me that the actions of two people can destroy the lives of so many.

He won't be back in the States for Christmas, or Thanksgiving or New Years in the years to come. Awhile back, he had agreed not to come back to Texas anymore, so as not to cause the family so much pain. I think it is indeed better this way. But it is still very sad it had to come to that.

I told my dad I loved him today. Though, strangely enough, my actions as of late have been contrary to the sentiment. He told me that he loved me too, and would always love me no matter what I ever do.

He says what I'm doing is not right. I say what he is doing is not right.

Stalemate.

Life is finite. His cough is horrible. My grandmother says she will outlive him. I don't know if that will be the case, but I asked him tonight if he believed in Karma.

I asked him if a person hurt others in this world, would they have karmic consequences of Pulmonary Disease? He laughed between coughs and spitting up sputum into the sink, and said yes. He said he did indeed believe in it.